Breaking the rule of Now

I’ve always been true

Trying to see you my eyes grow confused--
I squint at the windshield and 
There you are, etched into the glass 
By the rolling tones of your voice.

Alone we sit together in bucket seats -- 
Me hiding at the Dunkin’ lot
You down country in that unmapped 
Cement slab allotted to national defense.

I miss you. I’m breaking the rule of
Now by calling you. The rule says
Let the past dissolve. Live in
The moment. Be Here Now.

I am. Lying across a wish to be
Anywhere with you, in Waterloo
Walking alongside you along
The river to your uncle’s doublewide.

In the dingy apartment, 
Hollow core door
Mattress on the floor
My point and shoot.

Their wedding, us both
Dressed as accessories 
Idle hands, staring down a
Kiss forever, us stuck apart.

Trying to see you, now, my eyes grow closed.
I’ve always been true -- through both wars,
Your first marriage, now this one.
I dream a truth I’ve already known. 

I want to make you less apart of myself,
Or more --- absorb your head injuries, let 
Your voice coat the space until I see
Yesterday dissipate let go and 
Tomorrow break all the rules.