God life is so fucking serious.
Today is March 22, which happens to be National Goof Off Day, according to the National Day Calendar. I am not sure who named it that or why, but I am on board.
Synonyms for “Goofing Off”
“Goldbricking” is a favorite term for this, one I first heard used in the pub in London.
Also of course love the term “slacking,” which isn’t just being a lazy worker, but in fact originated as a form a protest! You’ll be surprised to hear it was not invented by Gen Xers:
“According to different sources, the term slacker dates back to about 1790 or 1898.[1][2] "Slacker" gained some recognition during the British Gezira Scheme in the early to mid 20th century, when Sudanese labourers protested their relative powerlessness by working lethargically, a form of protest known as "slacking".[3][4] [Wikipedia]
How to Goof Off on National Goof Off Day
It’s a Tuesday — a traditional work day — so that means you can honor National Goof Off Day properly with some classic Goof Offs.
Hold Your Pencil With Your Face
Feel constrained to your desk? That’s ok. There’s still plenty of ways to be goofy right there… we did it all the time at school back in the day. Warm up with turning your pencil to rubber (remember?) and holding with it your nose. Also try to the following:
Practice rolling your tongue
Practice doing crosseyes
Practice raising one eyebrow
TP a mate’s cubicle, if you feel really risky.
Exercise with some Parkour
A classic Office exercise and a good way to skip the gym as well. Be sure to yell “Parkour!” while you are doing it and include a friend or two.
Avoid work and Decorate your Cubicle
Technically this may seem like work — but it will most likely require an extended trip to Target or Staples or Bed Bath Beyond for accessories. And perhaps an undisclosed period of time on Pinterest deciding what color scheme is right for you.
Pretend to work:“Brainstorm”
Clear your calendar for the afternoon for a crucial “brainstorm” session. Then take a pile of colored pencils, pens, and a notebook to the coffee shop. Turn off your phone and just doodle while people watching.
Don’t Work: Self Care Day
Remember all those sick days you didn’t use last year? Time to add some R&R into your work week — call in “wellness required” and take the hammock to the park with your Kindle and your waterbottle. It’s ok if the Kindle isn’t charged. You are going to pass out in the shade 10 minutes after you get there anyway.
Life is clatteringly full of shitheads like Josh Hawley that we can’t control at the moment. I feel like that calls for some good old-fashioned slacking — today and everyday. Whether we take it in bits or in slabs, please take it.
Tell me how you plan to goof off today (I’d love more suggestions!)
Slacker 4 lyfe
Subversive Slacking: Still in pajamas and wild hair don't care while making big dollar deals over the phone. Different than typical pandemic working because of the intense INTENT of doing it.