On languishing & flourishing
A found poem with Corey Keyes
Day 23 of 30 Days of Poetry: Autumn 2024
To be mentally healthy, you have to have at least one of the three signs of "emotional well-being" that is, either happy, satisfied, or interested in life every day or almost every day, with warm, trusting, personal relationships. You like (most of) your personality. (We call that self-acceptance). In addition, you feel a sense of belonging or integration to community. The things you do on a daily basis matter or contribute things of worth and value to people or your community. Your life has purpose, meaning, it has direction, or you might feel a sense of personal growth. That is, you're feeling challenged to become a better person. And so languishing is the absence ... the absence of feeling good about a life where you can function well. Languishing? Is it something like this? You're on a flight ... and you're almost there, but suddenly you can't land. You spend hours days months just circling, and you start to feel like you're never going to get where you want to be. You can't go back. You feel stuck, loss of control. You can't unbuckle or move about. No use feeling mad: it won't solve any problem. You don't feel anything negative, but you sure don't feel anything good. Here's four things found a supportive environment. (working in a demanding profession but sustaining flourishing): 1. a calm, pleasant atmosphere: you get along. 2. understanding: we all have bad days; 3. you are there for each other, especially on those bad days 4. Genuine collegiality: warm and trusting relationships. The river doesn't drink its own water, The fruit tree does not eat its own fruit. Only human beings have the choice to live only for themselves. But when we are growing, and our heart and our minds are in the right direction, we give to others. Flourishing (is) the pinnacle of life: when people are flourishing, they can't keep it to themselves. Languishing and flourishing is not just about us. All of us can help others feel wanted and needed to give them cause to flourish.
The text for this found poem is from the transcript to “Why You Feel Empty” from the podcast Hidden Brain, which aired June 10, 2024.
The interview was between host Shankar Vedantam and author and sociologist Corey Keyes, who wrote the book Languishing, How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down.
This poem topic is on my mind, because I know many people are struggling at the moment with big hard feelings, and perhaps languishing. I know warmth, connection, and love is needed.
This poem was inspired by my sister, Ann, whose word for today was “laughter.” She is one of my “warm, supportive” people and she is always giving back to everyone with her warmth, love, and laugh.
