Weakness, I Know You

It’s ok to be unwilling to go, and also not sure whether to stay.

It is all right to be soft.

Don’t believe all those Instagram abs. They aren’t the truth, or the very least of it. Soft bellies have a much longer history.

Who wouldn’t prefer a soft blanket to wrap around oneself on a cold night, rather than sheets of tinfoil?

It’s not practical to be weak. It’s not in fashion to sag. People will crop you out of a photo if they find your chins offensive.

But it’s OK to have layers on you. It’s a cold world, after all. Metaphorically, of course, I mean. Especially if you are a girl like us.

Weakness could be your good luck charm.

Perhaps you hang back, worried and timid. And while you hover in the shadow, unsure of whether to go or to stay, the gunman slaughters all the frontrunners dashing down the halls with their hope in their hands. It splashes down, all over the floor. The brave ones. You shrink back into your wet dark spot, becoming more of the nothing you feel, and hear the sharp shrieks become prayers bouncing off the metal lockers.

It’s ok to be unwilling to go, and also not sure whether to stay.

All these years along, the lights are growing dim
I hear you sing your song in the next room
And as far as I can tell, 'most everything means nothing
Except some things that mean everything
Railroad wings

It’s hard to comprehend what’s to be done, especially on a day when you have a field of nothing ahead of you.

Where did this field of space come from?

Who will know or care if we make a “To Do” list and then do none of it?

What is the shape of time — to make use of, or not?

Maybe it’s time you and I go volunteer somewhere. Or maybe it’s time to hit pause a little more, and play more games.

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
The less I give the more I get back
Ooh, your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don't have a choice, but I still choose you
Oh, I don’t love you, but I always will…

What’s the feeling felt in not knowing what is next?

I should know by now, right?

Isn’t this the math my mother expected us to know? Then she died.

Sometimes I think about all the things I could do in a lifetime and realize: Of course. Yes. I will never get any of these things done.

Never learn to ride a horse, properly. Never visit the the large turtles of the Galapagos. Never swim icy boundary waters.

I might not fall in love again. Never see the cozy innards of a Swiss mountain hut after a long day’s walk through the fog.

My hi-fi is waiting for a new tune
My glass is waiting for some fresh ice cubes
I'm just sitting here waiting for you
To come on home and turn me on
Turn me on

To Do:

• Get up

• Make more love

• Brush teeth x2

• Go to bed

• Repeat

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Songs:
Railroad Wings - Patty Griffin
Poison & Wine - The Civil Wars
Turn Me On - Norah Jones