What we have to do, with heart pounding

Why it can be so hard for an artist to bet on oneself

Over the weekend, Colin and I saw the Georgia O’Keeffe retrospective called “My New Yorks” at the High Museum.

While she is much more well-known for her florals and her work in New Mexico, O’Keeffe spent many falls, winters, and springs in NYC and Lake George with her husband, photographer Alfred Stieglitz.

The Shelton with Sunspots - 1926

The paintings collected for this show felt surprising, but at the same time completely thrummed with the modern life and energy that has always been so special in her work. It felt familiar and it felt confident.

O’Keeffe in a 1950 interview said:

“I have always been willing to bet on myself you know - and been willing to stand on what I am and can do even when the world isn't much with me.”

Even in her NY years working at the Shelton, she would have crates of skulls and bones shipped out to her apartment from New Mexico for work she intended or imagined doing.

She had an idea of what she wanted to make and she did it.

O’Keeffe also noted:

“I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing that I wanted to do.”

What We Have to Do, with Heart Pounding

Walking and working in the world as an artist — as a writer — is hard and scary work every day. That feeling of wandering in the unknown can, easily, slow us down or just plain stop us.

Sometimes we have to just forget about everything out there in the world and just keep going.

Sometimes we have to stop ourselves from giving up and ask for help! Admit we are stuck or scared or blanking on how to do this next step and get someone else to do it for us.

On to the News, then:

To that end, I hit SUBMIT on my self-published poetry book “No Wonder: Poems” this evening! It was hard! I got stuck and scared for a year!

But I was finally able to admit to people I needed help! I asked for it, and the process went forth! It’s amazing what happens when you ask for what you need.

Thanks to Jessica, Colin, Bryan, and Elaine for the parts they have played in physically getting the book from A — > Z. And for each of you reading and encouraging me!

Here’s a preview of the cover! Watch this space for links to the print and e-book!