The Art of Not Beating Myself Up
I rise to today’s occasion of to dos.
It’s a fine balance — to
Excuse oneself of one’s
Daily failings while
Simultaneously keeping
Inherent laziness in check.
Somewhere along the
Spectrum between
Perfectionism and total
Sloth-dom,
I rise to
Today’s occasion of
To dos.
On the one hand I know I am
Failing utterly at
Living in the now
As I continually
Check myself for the
Tics of timeline inadequacies.
On the other hand, work is
A Measured Pour —
There’s no possibility of
Getting drunk on its
Feedback loop– or
Falling in love.
It takes time, in fits and
Spurts, long naps, unplanned
Days and long swallows to
Move forward and to also
Stay still.
When I avoid things or procrastinate them (is there really a difference), I do increasingly wonder if my motivation to do so is laziness (my traditional explanation) or fear of failure related to perfectionism. Then, I ask myself if it even matters. Then I go on with my day, not doing more things. Sometimes I wish I was a puppet, and somebody else were controlling the strings.
I have friends who quibble with my belief in inherent laziness. But to me the battle is real.