When I avoid things or procrastinate them (is there really a difference), I do increasingly wonder if my motivation to do so is laziness (my traditional explanation) or fear of failure related to perfectionism. Then, I ask myself if it even matters. Then I go on with my day, not doing more things. Sometimes I wish I was a puppet, and somebody else were controlling the strings.
My therapist talks about perfectionism and it makes no sense to me! My house is a mess! How could I be a perfectionist? I get distracted when she explains it
Same here! It was a revelation to me when I realized that perfectionism is not the same as being perfect, and, in fact, tends to move us in the opposite direction. The revelation was cool when it happened and made me feel all insightful, but the glow has worn off and I just go on still yearning for the perfect day, the perfect experience, the perfect (fill in the blank). But, talking about it seems to provide at least temporarily relief; especially talking about it with someone else that seems to share the same type of experience!
lol, my revelation was like ... NO. NO. I am not that. Denial. As a person who thinks about words and meaning alot, I think I just have an inherent issue with THIS word. It, like, projects the opposite of its meaning. That seems so inefficient.
When I avoid things or procrastinate them (is there really a difference), I do increasingly wonder if my motivation to do so is laziness (my traditional explanation) or fear of failure related to perfectionism. Then, I ask myself if it even matters. Then I go on with my day, not doing more things. Sometimes I wish I was a puppet, and somebody else were controlling the strings.
My therapist talks about perfectionism and it makes no sense to me! My house is a mess! How could I be a perfectionist? I get distracted when she explains it
Same here! It was a revelation to me when I realized that perfectionism is not the same as being perfect, and, in fact, tends to move us in the opposite direction. The revelation was cool when it happened and made me feel all insightful, but the glow has worn off and I just go on still yearning for the perfect day, the perfect experience, the perfect (fill in the blank). But, talking about it seems to provide at least temporarily relief; especially talking about it with someone else that seems to share the same type of experience!
lol, my revelation was like ... NO. NO. I am not that. Denial. As a person who thinks about words and meaning alot, I think I just have an inherent issue with THIS word. It, like, projects the opposite of its meaning. That seems so inefficient.
I have friends who quibble with my belief in inherent laziness. But to me the battle is real.
Oh it’s real